i have been on a crazy organizing kick for the past week. purging lots of junk.
i have always been a packrat, but i've realized that living in the midst of so much stuff is stressful. it is weighing me down. i save stuff because "i'll use it someday", but it sits around taking up space and making it so i have no room to do whatever project i was saving it for. or i save things because they "have sentimental value" but then forget about them because they get burried in mess. so i'm reading minimalist blogs, and getting rid of a lot. i don't think i'll ever get to minimalism, by any stretch, but it's inspiring. i just want to get to peaceful and livable.
so far in a week i've gotten rid of 4 bags of clothes and accessories (i already got rid of 4 bags in january, and i still have more than i strictly need after 8 bags gone), and 3 bags of garbage. i have reorganized all the upstairs closets, and totally cleaned the master bedroom. it feels great. all that's left upstairs is to clean off the desk in the spare room and set my sewing stuff up on it.
downstairs is still awful, and it's harder to clean because haven runs around all day making messes as soon as i clean anything. but i feel like i'm on a roll now.
i feel so serene and proud of myself when i walk in my bedroom, and i want that feeling in the whole house. i want to breathe a sigh of calm when i come home, rather than sniffing the full garbage. i want to be excited that company is coming over, rather than frantic.
and i want haven to grow up with that sense of calm. i have to teach myself how to not let stuff be my master, so that i can teach haven. i want her to learn how to live simply from the start. it's hard to unlearn the messy ways now. and i'm realizing that a lot of my packratting is emotional. i never had a "childhood home" - i had about 10. each move, what made the new place feel like home was that i brought all my stuff along. so the way some people feel about the house they grew up in, is how i feel about boxes of stuff. clutter is my security blanket. but the blanket has gotten stuffy and constrictive, and it needs to go.
today i want to get pictures hung in the bedroom, and clear off the dining table. i've got a cold, and haven is teething, so i'm keeping to small tasks today.
wish me luck.